|Woof! General Wolfe in full colour glory|
1. As you are all aware and grateful for, it was the King’s birthday last Wednesday. To claim your money back for the wine that you consumed in his honour, please present the used amphorae to Ptolemy between midday and midnight tomorrow. Only the specially marked amphorae will be accepted.
2. A public Lecture will be given by White Cleitus on Monday – Friday this week. It is titled Our King: 25 years of glory. Attendance not obligatory, but names will be taken and grudges held against those who do not show up to celebrate Alexander’s life so far.
3. A special lecture for women only – Queen Olympias: her place in the glorification of Macedon will be given by Euridike daughter of Cleopatra on Tuesday. (Euridike and Hephaestion will also be leading a roundtable discussion on the ‘established factual innacuracies in Hesiod’s Theogony’ in the Pella Wine Tent on Wednesday afternoon/evening.)
4. To head off any questions by confused men, the Euridike referred to in (3) is indeed the woman known popularly as ‘Sexy’ Euridike. Before you ask again, no, Sexy is not actually part of her name.
5. Would you like to learn how to make pottery in the geometric style? Classes are held every day in pottery workshops throughout the city. Thank you to Amyntas & Sons of Dipylon for sponsoring the classes. Amyntas & Sons: Pottery for the Masses.
6. Friends of Cambyses’ Army will be pleased to hear that Amazonian traders have confirmed that he is currently in Italia and recently single handedly beat an entire Roman Legion. We eagerly wait to hear more about his amazing exploits.
7. Society meetings (in the Royal Palace unless stated otherwise)
Union of Macedonian Mothers: What Spartan Women really do when their menfolk are away on military duty (open discussion)
NB: Olympias’ Rules apply: No men may attend UMM meetings; any who do may be killed on sight.
The Knowledge Club: Did Socrates secretly advocate wearing socks? A discussion (Thursday, 8pm – Pella Wine Tent)
Pork Chop Soc’: Into how many pieces would you cut the Roman Republic? A celebration of Macedon’s superiority (Friday midnight – Ptolemy’s quarters)
Friends of Kalonike: Why Spartan Manoeuvres / Theban Opportunities are superior to procreative sex (open discussion, Saturday 2pm)
8. Lysimachus is collecting funny stories involving dogs and their owners for a special volume that will be part of a series celebrating the battle at Gaugamela. If you have any, please see him in the Royal Palace/Pella Wine Tent on any evening.
9. As Game of Wines comes to its thrilling conclusion, theatre patrons are reminded not to riot if their favourite character is killed, or House wiped out. It is the theatre and bad – as well as good – things happen. Following the last play, there will be a Q & A featuring, writer, director and actors to discuss the trilogies and possibilities of a second series – if, that is, any characters survive this one.
10. Peithon wishes to thank everyone who sent him get well soon messages during his confinement after he caught the pox earlier this week. He says that he is getting better and looks forward to revenging himself on those who made bids for his wife and who tried to kidnap his slaves.
Editor: Eumenes of Cardia
Deputy Editor: Leonnatus Son of Anteas
“If ever war seems too much, just be thankful you did not belong to the House of Agammenon.” (Proverb)