Camp Notices - It’s Babylon, Baby! Edition

1. Alexander writes: “On behalf of all Macedonians, I would like to thank Mazaeus and all involved for the wonderful entrance that we had into Babylon. I had, of course, full confidence that the city would open its gates to me and that the people would come out as friends - so it proved. In return, all Macedonians will treat all Babylonians with full respect. Don’t push us, though, we - and you - would not like that.”
2. Mazaeus writes: “Welcome to Babylon, Macedonians! We are delighted to welcome you and your all-powerful, all conquering GOD-KING! Where there is a shop, may you buy; where there is a Babylonian, may you not stab him to death on a whim; where there is Ahura Mazda, just look on him as another Zeus. Please, enjoy your stay, and when the time comes, leave our city as you found it!”
3. The courtyard of the Royal Palace has been designated the Lost and Found zone for any children and adults who go missing in the city (or Royal Palace itself, Ptolemy).
4. Due to popular demand, Game of Wine will extend its current run at the Pella Theatre tent until further notice. To celebrate this, a free amphora of wine will be given to the first fifty people in the queue at each performance for the next week.
5. The Debating Society meets every Monday. This week’s topic will be: “This tent believes Pericles’ funeral oration would have been better had he given it while drunk.”
6. “Want to discuss borders and boundaries? Then join the Pork Chop Soc. Enjoy fresh meat, good wine, and an ongoing discussion on how to carve up the world. The PCS will meet every Wednesday in the Aegae Wine Tent. See Amyntas son of Amyntas for further details.”
7. By order of Black (Gold) Cleitus, free time off will be given to anyone who watched the Europa GP on their Linear bPad. Cleitus says, “Most people who watched that race will bemoan the fact that it cost them 90 minutes that they will never get back. In proof of how powerful he is, Alexander is giving you Macedonians that very time back.”
8. Ptolemy writes: “Want to found a dynasty? Go to the Pella Wine Tent on Friday night for a talk on the key steps to do so. By way of a teaser: 1. Claim divine descent (Remember, though, to pick your god wisely; we will discuss who the best options are) 2. Kill all your enemies (we’ll explore the many and varied ways in which this can be done) 3. Take a few wives and be prepared for a few late nights!
9. Guided tours to the rivers of Babylon are available but unless you can swim please watch your step and try not to fall in.

(Thank you Antigonus Monophthalmus)